That Warm & Slimy Feeling

This morning I was woken up by a chilly Misterpants and a demanding grey asshole. After both were done clambering into bed the kid turned around, gave me a kiss, and said “I love you Mom.” My heart swelled, for my child is not liberal with oral declarations of love and affection. And while I reveled in the moment, he sneezed and proceeded to wipe snot all over my sheets.

It just goes to prove that a five year old can ruin any moment, not just the ones between two consenting adults.

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