Snap. Crackle. Plop.

I should preface this story by saying I have the grace of a bull in a China shop. I’d be the person who could fail a sobriety test while sober because of the inability to walk in a straight line. I can be barefoot and still trip over my own feet and have bad knees that will swell if you so much as utter the word ‘accident’ in their presence.

We’ve been working on cleaning up our room for the past week. My ability to wear the same eight items over and over loathing for folding had created an embarrassingly large pile of unfolded clothes in our bedroom. So while Misterpants spent his week at Chez Grandma I spent mine trying to deal with The Pile and its move into two new dressers.

Fast forward to last night. After spending two and half hours (and only one threat of divorce) putting together the first of the god-foresaken dressers we left it in the dining room and went to bed. The days was spent doing important things like saving the kid from the grasp of Grandma and putting tires on the car so yours truely doesn’t end up in a ditch with a blown tire. We get home, Misterpants is agreeable to helping clean, and we finally get around to moving the dresser into place and putting clothes away.

Somewhere along the line I ended up running down the hall for something. As I rounded the corner I twisted my ankle, slammed into the wall, and landed flat on my fat white ass. The ankle is fine, never mind the fact it was folded at a 90 degree angle. The knee however?

Red? Check.
Swollen? Of course.
Hurts like a sonnovabitch? You betcha.

Not to mention I am sure that bones aren’t supposed to grind like that. So now I am sitting, leg out, dopped on ibuprofen. I have chocolate cake to mend my bruised ego. In hindsight I now know that running in Dansko clogs may not be the smartest of things.

And the clothes? Folded? You’re kidding, right?

3 Responses to “Snap. Crackle. Plop.”

  1. 1 yer sister

    I bought a pair of Danskos for work.

    Bad idea.

    I gave them away.

    Then I bought another pair for work.

    Still a bad idea.

    Lost them in the fire.

    Know what I did then? You guessed it!

    I bought another pair.

    But I don’t work in them. I wear them when I don’t feel like bending over to tie laces. And I don’t run in them.

    It’s not you…the shoes are fucking deathtraps.

  2. 2 Fox


    It’s just sooo cute when little sisters emulate their big sis…
    Goodness you girls are just soooooo-ooo-ooo competative!

    ( giggles )( snickers )( chortles )

  3. 3 Anna

    I hope you’re healing well! Seems like I miss everything whenever I work longer weeks. I hope you’re healing well or getting that thing looked at by a doctor somewhere!!! That shawl is so dawg gone pretty, might have to get that patter for myself!

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