Archive for the 'Misterpants' Category Page 2 of 2

Nighttime 101

Bedtime around here can be somewhat of an ordeal. The music must be right, the lights must be low, but not, “Too Dark!”, according to the child. A parental unit (who am I kidding here, it has to be me) must be seated in the rocking chair. Uglydoll in hand, I spend the next 15 minutes rocking said child down for the night.

You see, we’ve never subscribed to the Ferber School of Bedtime. It doesn’t seem right to me to plop an infant in a crib, close the door, and then spend the next hour ignoring their cries for help. The fact that Misterpant’s cries for help send me crawling up the wall like a raving lunatic also was a factor in not “Ferberizing” him. This is why 33% of the time I can be found rocking my 33 pound three year old to sleep. But don’t knock it, it works.

There is a moment when my child knocks out for the night that I wouldn’t trade a million dollars for. His eyes start to close, he yawns, and like any male over the age of two minutes he starts to snore and drool. Ok, so I could do without the snoring and drooling, but it seems to be a package deal with him. Luckily the shirts wash and his Uglydoll seems to take the brunt of the abuse.

But back to the music. You see, there is a method to my madness here. For Christmas Misterpants got a set of four children’s CDs from my mother. They contain such mind-numbing hits as “How Much is That Doggie in the Window?”, “Bananas in Pajamas”, and “The ABC Song”. It was her attempt to both drive us mad and get him to stop listening to bands like AC/DC and Red Hot Chili Peppers. However, It has only caused the former.

All of this begs one question. How much therapy am I going to have to pay for due repeated nights of listening to “Bananas in Pajamas” while he sleeps?

Public Service Announcement

All knitting has been stopped so that I may have a snowballs chance in hell of cranking out a costume before Monday.


Wish me luck, I have a feeling I am going to need it. If you could see my dining room table you would understand why.

Thanks for making me look like an asshole, Mom.


Waiting with Misterpants

And he’ll wear it, too.


Signs you may knit to much.

-Your child comes over, pets what you are knitting, and proudly proclaims, “Wool!”, and leaves.
-Your child gets recognized at your LYS before you do.
-Despite the fact your wrist hurts like a bitch you pop a couple Advil and keep on going. After all, your mother deserves a present after all the shit you put her through as a kid.


Today’s excuse for not knitting has been brought to you by the letter ‘D’, the number ‘2’, and one toddler.